Thursday, March 20, 2008

A very sad week indeed!

Hello everyone. I'm not posting any art today, because it's been a very sad week for me. I learned on Monday morning, St. Patrick's Day, that my 81 year old mother died in her sleep. At that age, death shouldn't be unexpected, or come as a shock, however, it did for me. My father is still with us, and 83, so I've never lost a parent before, and this is a totally new reality to me. I was a total basket case on Monday, but I'm doing somewhat better now. I realize this is a process, over time, to learn how to handle and deal with. And yes, it's very painful now, but I think in time the pain will lessen. I just thought I should share this with all of you.

I hope in time, to create an altered book as a memorial of my dear mother, Clare Foster. She has been cremated, so I will get a small urn of her ashes. I'm thinking there's no better place to keep the urn than in an altered book dedicated to her memory. There, it will be very safe, and displayed in an artful, respectful manner. (If anyone who reads this has done an altered book like that, please leave a comment or email me about it.)

Your prayers for me and my family would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

37 comments:

Sherry Goshon ODACA said...

oh my...well my heart goes out to you...there are no words to make you feel better i'm certain...but try to remember the joys love sherry

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mother's sudden death, Val. How devasting this must be for you and your father. Do take care. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Lisa H.

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh, Valarie, you poor thing!! I'm so sorry your mother has passed and that you are dealing with this. Unexpected or not, it hurts. I will be very interested to see how you use her remains in your art. I think that is a very loving tribute.

I'm so sorry. Many hugs.

jackieb said...

Val: Another step in the journey of life. I know it will comfort you and will honor your Mother to create an altered book for her ashes and her memories. Take care of yourself.
jackieb

Elizabeth in NM said...

Val, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We lost my mother-in-law a year ago, and it is never easy. My thoughts are with you and your family.
--Elizabeth

Cory said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your mother...you will be in my prayers.

Cory

Carol said...

Dear Val, I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother is 91 and very frail and I know I'm not prepared at all. I think your plan for a tribute book will be a great comfort to you and your family. My thoughts are with you and your father. Carol

Sue said...

Sending you lots of love and healing during this time. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment Val but time does heal. Just take each day a step at a time and try not to ask too much of yourself. Just go with the flow, try not to rush the healing process and think that in some way you 'should' be acting differently to what you are. Everyone deals with things differently, so just be true to yourself and if it feels right, do it.
With love and bright blessings from the heart,
Sue 0 North Yorkshire UK
xxx

alteredmymuse said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mother, Val. I lost mine the day after Christmas. It doesn't matter how old you are or how old she was. It hurts. :((
My mother was also cremated. I carried the box with her ashes on my lap to and from the funeral. It was surprisingly heavy and much too large for an altered book. Maybe the urn will be better, I'm not sure. Either way, you could do an altered/assemblage type piece that could include a book. I think it's a great idea and would be a very healing thing for you.
You will always have her with you in your heart. Keep the wonderful memories and try to remember that the pain does lessen with time.

Take care,
Pam
http://alteredmymuse.wordpress.com/

Lindart said...

Val, I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I think an altered book in her memory is a great idea. My dad dies 7 years ago, and I've always planned to do this, hopefully I still will. Looking forward to seeing the book, and I know that making it will help in some way to heal the hurt, and remember the good times.

Linda East said...

Val...so sorry to hear of you and your father's deep loss. I know the process of your art as a tribute to your mother will definately help you ...art helped me when my Dad and my husband passed over, you are in my thoughts and prayers. LUV Linda

Anonymous said...

Val,
I am sorry to hear of your mom's passing. Prayers are being said for both you and your dad.

Pertaining to the book to place the urn in. Have you thought of making a drop down spine book to put the urn in? If you need further info. email me at
Demarleathome@aol.com

kristen said...

Val,

I lost my dad 5 years ago, and I know how very hard it can be to lose a parent. My prayers go out to you and to your family, and I think your memorial book idea is a wonderful one that will celebrate all the great memories you have.

Sue Farace said...

My prayers are with you as well - your altered book will be a wonderful tribute to your Mom.

sue

purplepaint said...

Val - I am so sorry to hear about your mother. It's always so hard to lose a parent, it seems they should always be there for us. Saying a prayer for you right now. Marva

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't done an altered book, but am working on a scrapbook of my Mother, whom I lost this past November. I never knew my Dad as he was killed before I was born. God will see you through this, if you only lean on Him.

God bless you!

Lori Roberts said...

Val I am so sorry to hear of your mothers passing. yes it does hurt very much and I understand your feelings. My father passed almost 8 years ago and it still hurts in my heart. You do learn to deal with it in time. Just know that now you can have wonderful private talks with her and you know she is listening. You have a personal Guardian Angel looking over you. May you find peace and comfort in your heart.
Angel ((((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

I want to express my sincere condolences to you and your family at this very difficult time. It's so tough to lose a parent to death and no matter how much we tell ourselves we're prepared, it is still hurtful and life-altering. Since I've experienced this I can recommend you give yourself permission to experience the emotions and the memories...and give yourself the time it will take to heal.

Alma Jane said...

Valerie, So sorry to hear you have lost your mother and I can empathize with your grief. I have lost my father, mother-in-law and father-in-law. My 99 year old mother is still living with a healthy mind so I feel blessed as you must feel having your father there. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Alma Jane
http://almajanesattic.blogspot.com

Kim said...

Val , I'm so sorry and I know it must be a tough time for you and your family right now. You of course have my condolences , and when you feel up to working on that book I'm sure it will do your mom proud.

HeArt Collective said...

love and hugs to you.
these transitions are always painful and heartbreaking. i'm so sorry.

xoxo
jul

Christy said...

Hello Val,
Very sorry to hear of your loss. Your altered book sounds like it will be an amazing tribute to your mom. I will keep you and your dad in my thoughts!
-Christy

Jenny said...

Val- my sincere condolences on the passing of your mother. I hope that through the grief you can still find some memories that make your heart smile. In prayer, Jenny

Aimeslee said...

Sending my sorrowful and heartfelt condolences for your and your dad's loss. My parents are 81 and 79, and I can relate so much to your feelings of vulnerability. What a wonderful way to house her ashes, commemorate and celebrate her life with your altered book of life shrine. Take care, Aimeslee

La-Botteghina said...

Condolianze
Sorry to hear about your Mother's death.

Hugs
Serena

darlene aKa HugGeR said...

Val I have already emailed you but I am very sorry for the loss of your mom.

You might think of getting a very thick book such as the old big fat dictionaries. You can cut away the shape of the urn and place it in there safely and still have enough pages to alter through your tribute journey to your mother.

Sandi said...

Val, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family! Losing a parent is one of the hardest things you will go through in your life. Your memorial book sounds like a wonderful idea. When my parents passed, it was helpful and healing to work on sort through our family pictures. This project might do the same for you.

(((HUGS)))

Phyl said...

So sorry for your loss;but what a blessing for such a gentle passing!Only time will help the pain/loss; try to think of the good times!Sending prayers to you and family.......

thealteredpage said...

Val - My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. I think you idea will make a beautiful, loving, and lasting tribute to your mother. Thinking of you, Seth

Kelly said...

Sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. I think your idea for a memory book for your mother is a good one.

Gail P said...

I continue to pray for you since learning of your loss earlier in the week. My dad died 8 years ago tomorrow, I didn't know about altered books then so I put together 4 memory books for family members. The time I spent on those books helped me heal and remember the good times rather than the 3 types of cancer he had. I hope to hear about the tribute you end up doing for your mom, be it an altered book or whatever.
Hugs!

Angie in AZ said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. They say time eases the pain, and I'm sure it's true however, I have yet to lose a parent and can only imagine losing a child to be worse. Thank God I have not experienced that either and pray I never do. I have to say that your mom is most likely quite the envy of many. If you asked every person on the planet how they would like to die, in their sleep would probably be the answer to most everyone! Your mom was given a gift in her death and I"m sure she was given in life as well. May peace that passes understanding comfort you and your family.

Mary Lynn in Texas said...

I am so sorry for your loss, and I will pray for you and your family. When my husband passed from cancer, I thought I wouldn't make it, but at the time I didn't know about altered art, so I did a scrapbook memorial to him, and by working on the book, I worked through my grief. I think your idea is an excellent one. God bless,

Laura said...

I'm so sorry for your deep loss of your mother...so painful. Art does help with the healing process. When a friend of mine lost her mother, I made her a memory house of glass. It was a little house with a removable roof so she could put some precious momentos inside. Each wall was made of two pieces of glass with photos, and personal images sandwiched between. I got the idea and the "how to" from the book "Pretty Little Things" by Sally Jean Alexander. In time you will feel better, until then my prayers are with you.
Creatively Yours, Laura (CPA)

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to read about the loss of your mother. I understand the emptiness, as I lost my mother just a few years ago. I applaud your public announcement of grief and sincerely hope you complete your tribute to her. It really is a wonderful thought. It never matters how old someone is when they pass, because you're never eady for it Besides, even though you're a grown person, to a mother you're always their child and those feelings always remain. Mothers are special. My thoughts go out to you.

Patti from Austin, TX

autumnmoon said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mother..... I think an altered book is a wonderful tribute .....I'd be very interested to see how you memorialize her.... and how cool to be able to have her ashes amongst treasured books. My niece is a mortician, she said some people decorate paper mache houses with removable lids but most just buy something they like at Hobby Lobby.

Hope God heals your heart and helps you to cope with your mother's "change of residence"

Much love,

Jan

Dawn said...

Val, how sorry I was to read your post about your dear mum...it doesn't matter that she was 81, she was your mum and now you will have to live with your memories of her. I pray for you and your dad at this time.
I think your idea for her ashes is beautiful, I hope you do it...
much love to you xxx